My Words Organized
I posted some new pictures! I am going to be uploading a lot of videos and pictures from my journey here to Amarillo and the upcoming North American Division Ministerial Meeting in Austin and the following General Conference Session in San Antonio! So keep checking in and we'll experience the fun times ahead together! Maybe I will be able to write a few snippets down or record a couple podcast!
P.S. I am going to be getting published again soon, so keep looking at Spectrummagazine.org !
Have you ever been there, at the cross roads of life? Looking both ways but not knowing which is right. Staring into the distance trying to see just a glimmer of light? As if at a stop light that never turns green, your stuck at the intersection of me and He. But the roads aren’t labeled for as far as you can see.
As you cry out for guidance with this burden on your heart it seems that your still standing in the dark. You fear that this time He has left you alone to weigh for your self the things that you do and do not know. Although in your heart you acknowledge that its not him, in this moment that negative idea is the strongest of all of them.
Where do I go? Which way to I turn? Tears fill your eyes as you seek to learn. Learn of your path and learn where it leads, surrendering to something that you can’t even see.If the faith of a mustard seed can move the earth how little is yours? Is it even the size of a grain of dirt? Stepping into the dark when you can’t know what’s next is the hardest test man has been handed yet. I what something solid, tangible,and real, at least to the standards that world sets for my feels. Why can’t I know, why can’t I see, why does trusting have to be so hard for me? Are there people out there that God still speaks to and if there is why can’t it be me or you? What have I done wrong which way did I turn. to prevent me from hearing the voice that I especially yearn?
Is God actually talking yet his voice is so still that I can’t seem to slow my life enough to hear his will? I think I am asking and I think I am really there , putting all of me in front of Him, down on my knees in constant prayer. “God please lead me, show me my path because I am terrified of incurring your wrath”. Wait there it is there is, the crux of my spiritual life, the fear in my heart in the realization that my sense of God has fallen apart. When I look at the past I know what He has done each time and I realize my prayers were not filled with words rather silence was all that was there as I simply set down tuning my ear.
So I now re-close my eyes and bow my throbbing head as the prayer I now pray changes exponentially. “God I don't want to see where my path leads because I know where I go is where you will lead. You've shown me time and time again the road I should take and though rugged terrain has gotten in the way, the scars I have gathered the muscles that have grown, the person I am is one who now knows. Knows of your love and knows of you plan and is willing to follow you even if it is to foreign land. I have this trouble because somewhere along the way there was a seed planted that should have been thrown instantly away. Satan has bombarded me with the things of this world, he has made me too busy to see the things of my past, of where I once was to where I now am. So give me your eyes to see people as you do to look on the world with a heart of flesh gifted from you. So here it is as the core of my plea at this point I hand over my life for I am truly tired of this inward strife. Wipe away my concerns and the voices in my head competing with the words you have already said. Make clear in my mind the path of which you would have me go. Allow me to see only the footsteps your Son has made for me to follow. Make me the Christian I long to become and add to my faith when I seem to have none. Forgive me for my doubt and not listening to your will. Open my heart so that I may be wholly thine, never questioning what has been made clearly divine. Please open and shut the doors that I need and to trust that you will never mislead. The Devil is the father of lies his deceptive devices are not thine. You lead with clear insight showing the way so send Satan out so that I may not be lead astray. I die to myself so that you might live and that the resurrected life I now lead is yours to give. Give to your people, give to the world, take everything I have and use in anyway you see fit, for by giving my all and surrendering my will I know that you have the ability to heal. So touch my lips with the coals from heavens door and anoint my spirit that I may listen forever more.
I know it has been a grievously long time since I last was able to post. A lot of things have been going on in my life. First there was finals week, graduation, moving, working on my RV and plus we don't have internet at home but I thought I would take a moment to update y'all a bit.
I actually just yesterday got the news that I have been officially accepted to Loma Linda's Chaplaincy program! Which is super duper exciting!!! What I am praying about now is simply to stay a year back here with my parents getting a job, taking some of Loma Linda's classes online, and trying to get some CPEs' (Clinical Pastoral Education) in.
In about a week I will be headed down to Texas to see all my wonderful family which will surely bring some adventures! I am finally able to slow things down a bit right before they pick back up. Meanwhile I will be here typing some more application essay's for my CPE's. It is rather interesting being here in PA because its like living a semi-normal less nomadic life.... on the other hand if I were given a ticket to fly to anywhere I would jump right on that plane. I am still quite filled with wanderlust and I know my traveling days are far from over. In fact were are currently in the process of renovation my RV which will be my actual house. Many people think that I have settled for living in an RV because it is the cheapest, but actually it has always been my dream and I hope to actually upgrade to just a van some day soon. I want to get down to whatever I need for survival and to live can fit in a simple backpack. To be able to jump on a plane and go is my dream.
Well I have so much more to share but simply not enough time so for now I will bid you all farewell but hopefully I will be back very soon!
P.S. I have a secret I would love to share with y'all but it will have to wait till another day :D
I highly suggest watching this video, it is not only inspiring but will encourage you that no matter what you are going through God can and will provide the strength to make it through.
Fourteen-year-old Jonathan Pitre from Russell, Ontario is an avid hockey fan. He loves his hometown Ottawa Senators and dreamed about playing the game. But he never had the chance. TSN's James Duthie tells Jonathan's painful, and inspiring story. Viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry I haven't been able to add anything recently. As my graduation comes up I am very overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done, so have little time to do anything else :( . I hope to soon be posting some blogs and some podcasts. But probably not till I walk across that stage in exactly 18 days! Thank you all for following and I promise that after graduation I will try to make this more of a regular thing! Blessings to you all, and whatever day it is I hope you have a good day, afternoon or night!
To give ya'll at least a lil something, here is my "beautiful" rendition of a play-dough Eden out of homemade play dough!
So I have been trying my best to get a button that you all could use to get notifications of when I added anything to my Website but unfortunately the closest I could come is the link at the bottom that will notify you of when I add blog posts. So starting now if I add anything anywhere I will let y'all know here!
P.S. I have added some pictures to Brazil and Snippets
So I know that it is a couple of weeks late, but I have been very busy and it is not slowing down! But since I finally have this site up and running I am able to say that I have been officially published! Like at a real place! Its just one of my previous blog posts but its still pretty awesome! If you click on the title of this post it will take you there!
